Don’t you just hate when you get dragged into awkward conversations? Even more so, when it is a complete stranger?

Where: Walgreens checkout lane
Who: me, cashier, talkative older woman probably in her 50s

Talky Lady in front of me goes to pay. Friendly cashier lady tells us that everything in that cart over there is only a penny. In the cart are some candles and Shrek valentines or something. Talky Lady rushes to the cart, sees the candles and says, “Ohhhh noo! Not candles! Candles make me nervous!”. She then proceeds to tell us her brother, his wife and two of their kids died in a fire and that they couldn’t get out of the apartment. Their balcony caved in and they couldn’t escape. The cashier asks if the fire was caused from a candle and Talky Lady says “NO!” and goes on to say how it was all over television and the news. The cashier and I don’t really know what to say, but even if we wanted to, we wouldn’t be able to get a word in. Then Talky Lady asks cashier if she has a $100 bill for 5 twenties and tells me it’s for her niece to go shopping. She gets to spend money because “she is just turning 14 and is turning into a woman!”

What?

Okay, so just when we think she is done, cashier and I share a glance of relief that finally this woman is almost out the door. It’s now my turn to pay. Talky Lady is about to walk out the door. Stops. Turns and walks back to the register where I am paying for my peanut M&Ms, plops her bags down on the counter and says:

“Years ago, I had a hysterectomy, but I’ve been having this awful, terrible pains. My doctor decided to do an ultra sound and she told me they found ovaries! So I called my gynecologist and yelled at him! (Talky Lady is now yelling at this point and customers are looking at us.) They were suppose to take everything out and here they find ovaries! He said they are lying, but what the hell else could it be?! Now I am in pain and think I have ovaries that were suppose to be removed or cancer!”

By now I am finished paying and I am unsure of what to say. She stopped talking for a sec and was gearing up for more when I said, “Um, yeah…I hope everything turns out well” and rushed out the door without pausing for her response.

Because, really? What does one say to that?