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July 29, 2008 | body image, weight loss

The scale has hit that number.

You know the “at least I’m not ___ lbs yet” number. Don’t get me wrong, I have been more than this but thisÂ is one I was hoping I wouldn’t see again. I don’t plan on letting it get higher though.

I know there are some people who think, “Just shut up, eat better and work out. It’s so easy. Stop complaining”.

Those people have obviously never struggled with their weight before. Those people never felt the need to skip meals. When you do eat, never felt the urge to count each and every calorie you put into your mouth. Then regret each and every one of those calories, even if it was just a piece of fruit. They don’t step on and off the scale throughout the day, flinching if the number goes up an ounce or breathing a sigh of relief if it is down a bit.

It’s not easy for everyone.

Now I’m back at the start. I’ll watch what I eat, find time to work out and hope I don’t work myself up into a giant mess again this time.

There are people size 2-22, men and women, young and old who have issues with food and dieting. Some people are lucky to never have body image issues but I’m not one of them.

If you’re lucky enough to be one of those people, don’t judge.

You don’t know what it’s like unless you have been there yourself.

72 Comments so far
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Come join me and Nuttcow as we struggle womanfully with our weight gain/loss disasters!

It’ always easier when you have people in the same boat to help

I’m a very petite person, and I have body image issues, and not irrational ones. I think everyone out there struggles with some type of body image issue, everyone is human. It’s frustrating when friends are discussing their body image issues and I chime in with mine, which are ridiculed and judged, and dismissed. It’s so frustrating. They don’t see me naked, there are things I would like to improve upon, and things that I have been trying to improve upon to no avail. Meh :/

I’d give 10 years off my life to never have to diet again. Seriously.

I’m down with Ashley. I’m thinnish, so I get no slack. People are all the time trying to feed me. Everyone gets all concerned if I mention that I’m watching my weight. Bastards.

Jamie, it sucks. I hate, hate, hate it when I look down at the scale and that horrid number is blinking back at me, and I think to myself- “great, well I’m done eating for a week”. Being hungry is bad enough, but having to think about and guilt out on whatever you do eat is just exhausting. As far as working out, anyone who says that starting that habit is easy has obviously never experienced inertia on the level that I have.

At least it’s summer- load up on fresh produce. That ought to keep you full and still losing.

xoxo

No judgement, just wishing you the the energy and motivation to feel healthy and be happy with yourself.

agreed.
I was just lamenting this to Molly yesterday.

I eat so well, i work out so much and yet, nothing, it literally takes me months and months of never slipping up a meal much less a day to see any results.

its so frustrating to have a body that is perfectly happy in one state and a mind that it not.

I just got results back from a study I volunteered for. The results said: You are fat and you have high cholesterol, thus you will kack off at the ripe old age of 40 if you don’t get your shit under control. Sadly, I did get my shit under control and lost 30 lbs. Now I’m stuck here, which for a person of normal height would be alright. I hate scales. I hate them. Your pain is very felt.

Don’t know if this helps or hurts, but…

A lot of us men folk are in that same position, especially those of us in our early-mid 30s. We’re starting to look like those retired athletes who continue to eat like they did in their playing days and, a year or two of SportsCenter later, find that they’ve put on 40 pounds and lost all their muscle.

Oh, and we lose our hair on top of it all.

Personally, I started biking and eating a bit better, focusing mostly on portion control. And LizSara above is spot on: it’s imperative to have a support group. I’m lucky enough to have a wife who’s onboard the Better Eating wagon and have heard from several people through my own blog since I started logging my bike stats and weight online.

Pretty sure that’s why Weight Watchers and similar organizations are so successful, too. It’s not the points gimmick or anything like that. After all, that’s just a synonym for the “diet and exercise” thing you mentioned. Instead, it’s the camaraderie, the support of people in the same boat.

Even when they hijack your blog by leaving long-ass stupid comments like this one.

I hate that number. It makes me cry.

I’m not sure how to explain how alone I’d felt in my struggles with my weight until I read this sentence: “It’s not easy for everyone.”

So many people insist that it should be, as if losing weight and being fit is a social and personal responsibility that should outweigh any deep-rooted intrapersonal issues. Most of the time I allow myself to feel judged by people who don’t know what it is like, who don’t understand the problem. I’m so glad to hear that someone else out there has felt the same frustration as I have.

It’s not easy. Keep your head up. I think that the most important thing is that you’re happy in your life and happy with yourself. It’s not about a certain diet or workout plan. It’s about a lifestyle. Find things to eat and do that make you happy and feel good.

I hear you on the Not Easy part, and the Let’s Not Go Any Further Down This Road part, too. Good for you for taking steps in the right direction.

I can relate. I have struggled with my weight for ages. I have taken steps to correct it but it is a daily struggle, sometimes I am successful and other times not so much. I do try to think of it as a lifestyle change and not a “diet.”

Its is hard and I’m there myself. Good luck!

Oh, I absolutely understand what you’re going through. And it doesn’t matter if anyone else thinks you look fine. It’s all about how you feel about yourself.

Sending good thoughts!

You are not alone! Hugs I can totally relate. I am a serial dieter who steps into starve and binge cycles which I cannot stop

Ugh! I’m going through the same thing right now except I have a serious deadline. My wedding. It SUCKS… So bad.

Its horrible because when I look in the mirror I see a normal weight, healthy woman. But when I step on the scales or watch tv, I somehow suddenly become Baby Beluga.

I mean I would LOVE to be a size 2-4 like most of my friends…. but alas I was not built that way. I could be fitness Barbie and work out 4 times a day and still be a size 8. Thats why I’m loving the new ads for Jenny Craig (I think…) that has Queen Latifah saying she wants to be a size healthy. I think that should be the goal. A size healthy and a size happy. Cheesy yes…. But I think that that is the secret to looking your best. When you feel your best and have the confidence to match.

Now to follow my own advice…. Easier said than done right? Ha

I went through EXACTLY this last night when i stepped on the scale and learned i had gained 5 lbs in the past 2 weeks. Which is 2 lbs away from the weight I said I never wanted to ever see again. I nearly cried and immediately told the scale it was lying and ran off to go on the bike.

Its just very frustrating. If you need a workout buddy (even from afar, just someone to motivate!) let me know because i could sooo use one.

you are absolutely right!

It’s okay, I have been through this kind of stuff, not weight issues but depression and it’s a battle every day. Just keep your head held high and believe in yourself.

I was 2 pounds away from my ” at least you’re not _____ pounds” weight when I finally decided to change my life. I know you know I did the South Beach Diet. It’s been nearly 7 months, and I’ve lost 42 pounds. I seem to be stuck at this weight…I’ve hit my plateau. I just keep on chucking forward on staying on track. I have another 8 pounds to go. What it came down to for me was really really WANTING to lose the weight. I had to face the scale and face my fears. Only you know what is right for you. I’m just sending you positive energy so that you’ll find what works out best for your body. Just know: It CAN be done! xoxo

as many have said before in these comments…you are not alone.

i’ve been where you are. i’d promise myself that, starting monday, i’d eat better (read: skip meals more, etc. etc.) and exercise more. it’s a tricky slope.

try not to let it control your life the way it did mine!

you are beautiful no matter what! remember that.

been there. am there. will always be there.
but i have great friends, good hair and a fantastic sense of humor
we cant have everything…ughhhh, right?
point being, you’re not alone. but miss “i can eat whatever i want and i am stick skinny” probably has plenty of her own issues.

I’ve always had body image issues. I was in therapy for them. When I had my cancerous thyroid removed, I lost a good deal of weight, 30 lbs or so, but that was the weight I had because my thyroid was under-active. I went from 205 to 185…and I’ve been between 169 and 190 ever since. I can’t seem to find a happy medium. The one thing I did decide to do was get rid of my scale. I judge how I’m doing from how I feel physically/mentally and how my clothes fit. If I have a pair of pants that used to fit me perfectly and now I can barely button them (and not just because I’m on my period), I tell myself to take it easy.

I started a new schedule at work which has me up at 4:30 every morning. I’ve never hungry, and end up skipping breakfast, drinking twice as much caffeine. Lunch is usually either left overs from the night before or fast food (the only food places within a 10 minute drive of my work is a Wendy’s and a Chinese place, neither of which are particularly good for you.) I try to keep “healthy” snacks around.

I was at my lightest and feeling my best when I was on a mainly vegetarian diet. I ate fish and maybe once every two weeks some chicken. I didn’t starve myself, I was always eating. Nuts, seeds, veggies, whole grains. I made sure I seasoned everything as to not get bored by bland foods. I got stressed out with graduating college, then starting my first real job and moving 50+ miles from the area I’d lived all my life, and just went down horrible eating habit road.

I’d like to get back to feeling better. I admit, it’s about appearances too, but I’d like keep on believing I’m doing it for my health. Having battled cancer, and with the looming thoughts of a 3rd recurrence, it’s really about prevention.

I think there are a lot of people in the same boat! We’re all here and I hope I can speak for us all in saying we aren’t going to judge!

I’m with you! Whenever I would try to watch what I was eating and workout regularly I would GAIN weight. I also had someone ask me if I was pregnant the other day, talk about a real ego blow.

Weight Watchers has helped me a lot more than anything else I’ve done, so if you’re interested in that I can tell you more.

Just know that you’re not alone — the people who think it’s easy are the people who either don’t need to lose weight or don’t want to. Also know that there’s no one recipe for what works, we just have to keep experimenting til we figure out what works for ourselves.

Me and some of my friends decided this week that there was a goal weight we wanted to be at (and we’re not there, obviously). So we put money on it. It’s not a competition of who can lose the most. We pick our goal weight we want to be by new year’s. If we reach it, awesome. If not, pay up.

I definitely know how you feel. It’s not as easy as it sounds, and getting to the weight you want to be at is a challenge. I’m currently struggling with it now.

Stay positive and keep challenging yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to, even if it’s not easy.

I was there a year ago – but this website really helped me put everything in perspective and get back on track. http://www.thedailyplate.com It helps you track your calorie intake, exercise, BMI, and even has nutrition info for most restaurants. It’s not for everyone but I hope that it helps!

I was just thinking about this very thing today. Ok, I think about it DAILY but this morning I was almost going to post on my body acceptance struggle when I thought about how those posts are really the only time I get some negative anonymous comments. WTH with that?

Yes yes, come play with us. (by us I mean LizSara and I) We don’t bite. And it seems so much easier with friends to help you along.

You can see my weightloss blog at http://fromheiferto.wordpress.com

For me, the way that finally learned how to take control of my body, was to find an exercise that challenged and motivated me on my own. Mine was running, and signing up for my first race was what kept me out there on hot days and on freezing ones. Even if it’s just a short 5k, knowing that you have signed up and have to go definitely keeps you out there training.

Also, have you ever tried MyFoodDiary.com? It’s a GREAT way to track of what you eat, and it really teaches you how to eat healthy every day. I think I’m just lucky because I prefer healthy food most of the time, but of course….everyone has their weaknesses.

Don’t let the scale get you down girl, get out there, start doing some sort of exercise that you semi-enjoy, and don’t worry about what the scale says!

Also, I say a running buddy (or exercise buddy in general) is definitely the way to go. If you have someone waiting on you to go to the gym, to bike, or whatever, you feel bad if you don’t go!

(and don’t read my blog and get tempted by all the sweet treats…I’m going to cut down on those anyway and start focusing on healthy recipes… )

Good luck!

I so hear you, friend. Seriously. I have got to nip this in the bud. We can do it!

I know the feeling. I have a serious love/hate relationship with diet and exercise, but am pushing myself to find that happy medium. You can do it!

Oh I so hear you.

I struggle so hard with eating and working out. I hate it when people say to me “oh! You’re not fat you can eat whatever you want!”

I want to slap them and say “NO! I don’t eat whatever I want and so I’m not fat. DUH!”

But I don’t.

I gained 10lbs since last summer and I’m just heartbroken. I understand what’s up. You can do it sista!

It seems a lot of my favorite blogs are discussing weight right now! I have the sad situation where I’m always fighting my weight gain and my sister is one of those people who struggles to keep the weight on! It’s very hard to remain on a diet when she sits there, eating heaping bowls of pasta and grumbling about her “stupid high metabolism.”

Stupid sister.

It was alot easier to lose weight when I was younger…

I def feel your pain sister.

Thanks to an ridiculously stressful year, I stepped on the scale to find That Number could now be considered a goal. Ugh. So I rallied some friends and started a Biggest Loser competition of our own. The potential prize money and weekly weigh ins were the motivation I needed. Cause I’ve been known to cheat when nobody’s watching. Now that the competition is behind me, I’m once again struggling for motivation. It just never ends, does it?

Good luck!!!

Weight and body image are not easy from either side of the scale. (As noted on The Stapler, 3 posts ago!) Don’t ever wish for anyone else’s weight problems (or perceived lack of problems) because I think that all of us struggle, even if we don’t admit it. I think that wishing you had the “I can’t gain weight” problem will just make you feel worse. Focus on you )

Do what you have to do to be healthy. You’re a smart chickie and you know we’re all here to cheer you on!

I am there. Totally with you. I signed up for body by glamour at the advice of Tied Together with a Smile. You may want to check it out, and then we can be friends on there and cheer each other on!

It’s rough and I totally feel the same way. For me it’s best when I can get in a routine and once I start feeling better about myself it gets really good, but it’s times like this where I feel horrible that it’s hard to get into that healthy living pattern.

Amen…it’s not easy…ugh…getting married in a year and i would reallllly like to lose weight for that….but i’ve tried and uughhh…..i have a specific time to motivate me and it’s still just so hard…blahhh…

You are not alone. I avoided the scale all year during the last school year. On the last day of school I weighed myself, begging the scale to be kind. I gained 13 pounds. No wonder none of my pants fit and my sister asked me if I was pregnant.

Good luck and be healthy!

Nope, it’s not easy at all.

Good luck!

I hear you on that. I struggled with my weight ever since I was little and you know, children are cruel, so I got the “fat” jokes all the time. I still have my moments. Like right now. I lost over 60 pounds in two years (first 13 was very slow but unexplained, and the other 50 was through acupuncture, which curbed my appetite), and now I’m at plateau. Great, it’s very frustrating to gain weight and to lose it and be at a certain number for a long time, especially if said number still makes you 70+ lbs overweight. Where’s the medium? When will the plateau end?!

The best way is to just keep active, even if it’s a little walk. I’ve noticed that there are some foods that I can’t stomach anymore (like those mutant-sized chocolate chunk cookies from Dunkin’ Donuts [540 calories--ouch much?] and 10 piece chicken nuggets from Mc’D’s. I also found that deprivation will only cause you to crave it more, and once you get it, you don’t know how to act, and you go crazy.

Oh, and if you can find it, the Snapple White Tea is 60 calories a serving.

Good luck, and you got a lot of support!

i am so the same way jamie, same way. back at the beginning and we can do it. just gotta keep sayin it.

even though we don’t keep scales in our house (my mom thinks its unhealthy to keep monitoring a number) i can always feel when things are changing, er, expanding with my body.

like everyone else, the best thing to do is just MOVE. try looking for ZUMBA classes i hear that they are quite fun.

I completely understand. I hit that number a week ago, and now I’m trying to fight back. It is hard especially since I’ve changed my habits and now I need to break them (eating out every other day has been occurring more often than I’d like to think about). There are definitely more people out there going through the same thing. I support you!

no judgement here.
just wanted to drop in and say “hi”! i’m hoping to be back online soon! i miss you, but i’m following you on twitter so that helps! ha ha.
give those puppies a kiss!
:]

I hear you! i just recently started to skip meals, count calories, and figure out a way to push exercise into my already hectic day!

Wishing you the best, and if you need a support buddy, just let me know!

hi!! i found your blog via Angela@Angelaboration–we went to college together. anyways, i’ve loved reading your blog for a while now, and decided to de-lurk to send my heart out to you and wish you the best. i know exactly what you are going through–im a larger sized girl (mostly by genetics) and have tiny, tiny, tiny friends who don’t quite understand. don’t get too down on yourself, and remember that you dont need to change for what other people say and think, only if you think you need to. hang in there!!!
deeter

I like living with my head in the sand, so I refuse to even get on the scale. I don’t own one, and on the occasion that I find it necessary to weigh myself, I have to use the industrial one in the warehouse at my job because it’s the only scale I have access to. I recently got to a point, however, when I couldn’t really fit into any of my jeans and I hated the way I looked in pictures, so I decided to just do a few things to make myself feel better. I wasn’t really vocal about it because weight is a difficult issue for me, too, and I hate talking about it, but I can already feel a difference just from bringing my lunch to work, drinking more water, and being smarter about what I eat. I’m sending good vibes your way because I totally know where you’re coming from.

I haven’t really had issues with weight before and never really thought much about it even, until recently. My sister, who is my best friend in the whole world, gained weight a few months back. The thing is, she is really, really petite and tiny – even her face is thin – and the weight gain was only in her lower stomach. Honestly, it looked like she was pregnant and I was really worried (because she is not/ was not pregnant) and I felt uncomfortable for her, and what people thought of her when we were together. People who walked past us at our apartment building (we have since moved) would be like, move! She’s pregnant. And we would just ignore it. Even yesterday, another nanny I see sometimes was like: Where’s your sister? Isn’t she pregnant?

My sister has dropped the weight she gained and we’re still unsure how she gained so much in such a short time. She eats really healthfully now and I try to do the same. The point is, I understand now when people tell me how they feel about their bodies and weight. I feel for you Jaime. I think it’s brave and honest of you to admit your struggle and I definitely support you.

I’ve definitely had issues with my weight and it’s not fun at all! I feel like I go through phases where I workout eat healthy and then something major in my life happens and I revert back to my old bad habits. Hang in there!!! I’m going through the samething and am really trying to get myself motivated!

#1- You are beautiful. I’ve seen you and I know .
#2- I sympathize completely with this post. For years and years, I had the most forgiving of metabolisms… then it just stopped. I’ve been actively trying to lose weight for the past few months, and I am blown away at how stressful and frustrating it is. Eating is not supposed to be such a hassle! And, despite doing everything right, that number does not want to bloody budge.

Aww, sweetie, I thought you looked beautiful and just perfect when I met you, but I can understand the need to like what you see in the mirror and on the scale.

Whether you are size 2 or 22, what really matters is that people are comfortable with their bodies and at any size, not everyone is fortunate to be that way. It’s really difficult to lose weight and it’s a stressful experience counting calories (for me!).

I can totally relate to food/weight issues. It’s funny because I hear all the time that I look good- and I have yet to figure out the magic number where I feel “good” about myself. I think I’m slowly realizing that it’s NOT about the number for me, it’s about feeling in control. When I’m dieting, I feel skinnier regardless of the number on the scale. It’s scary because it looks like more of a control problem and not so much the number that makes me feel good- but I do realize it, which I guess is the first step in solving the problem. I understand where you’re coming from, and I agree that it’s not easy.

I rarely step on the scale. I always figured that no matter what I weighed, all the mattered was that I felt pretty.

But when I went to the doctors a few weeks ago, I realized that I had hit THAT weight.

What.The.Fuck.

I’m thin, by virtue of my DIET AND EXERCISE. And yet people feel the need to tell me how lucky I am all the time. It drives me nuts.

And guess what? Like so many women I have body issues too. But it’s assumed you can’t have them unless you are quite overweight. And some people get angry because your “panic number” is lower than they think it should be. We are entitled to our feelings about our bodies.

Here what I can recommend;

1) check out Mizfit in my blog roll

2) don’t weigh yourself everyday

Good luck, stay healthy mentally

I was underweight for most of my youth, and had body image issues for the opposite reason of most people. I wanted to have curves, and I didn’t.

In college I gained weight and suddenly had the curves I wanted. And then I lost the weight again. My friends got annoyed with how often I complained that my butt had disappeared.

I’ve gained weight again. It happened when I went off my medication and went through a break-up at the same time. I gained a very large amount of weight in a very short period of time. And I’ve spent the last 8 months trying to lose it.

People tell me all the time that I don’t look fat, but I FEEL fat. I don’t look like myself anymore. I don’t look how I think I should look. Every time a picture is taken of me, I’m terrified that it’ll be taken at an angle that gives me a double chin.

I’ve gained six pounds since yesterday morning. I don’t know how that’s possible, but I did it. And I was feeling lousy about myself when I stumbled across this post.

I don’t judge you! In fact, I admire you for putting your truth out there. Weight is just a number! <3

Weight is such a sensitive issue. I really admire your ability to talk about it openly and put it all into a public space. I think it’s important to try and be happy with ourselves, even if less than pleased with our bodies. No matter what, you are beautiful lady!

Oh, body image.

Mentally comparing other women’s thighs, stomachs, butts to mine to see if I was bigger. Feeling completely down about it and feeling guilty for caring so much.

Wanting to be beautiful and be a certain number. (High school number.)

No one’s judging you, Jamie, we just want you to be happy. And I KNOW how happy being healthy can be. It’s just hard to get here. Good luck.

You’re gorgeous.

i totally feel you on the weight issues….i just got to a point (literally just this month), where i was just lke: “eff it. i’m not going to kill/stress myself over this”

i hate scales. period.

i try to judge myself now by pictures and clothes.

but the scale always keeps coming back like a toxic ex lol

Everyone has body issues. Hell, there are whole industries built on making sure that everyone has body issues.

And anyone who says they don’t have body issues is lying.

it is most assuredly not easy. i think i work as hard at it as i work on everything else in my life combined. it’s constant. and for some people…that’s the way it is.

you’ll find your own way. ignore everyone else and figure out what that is for you.

Giiiiiirl! Throw that scale away!

I found myself very lucky when I was younger, as I exercised regularly and could eat anything I wanted without gaining a pound. Now, I find myself in my mid-20s, and I’m literally appalled that I could get to this point without realizing it. It’s really frustrating, especially because now I’m getting married. Why couldn’t this start in a few years?

But I have to keep telling myself that I have to be happy with myself – with the way I look and with my general health – and I’m all that matters. If we try to please others, we’ll never be satisfied.

I wish you the best with this because I know it’s a hard place to be. But as you can see, there are so many people who are here for you & who are going through the same struggles you are. And besides, weight isn’t everything. Show them muscles like you’re Arnold and forget the numbers

I love you just the way you are. But trust me, I understand the food neurotic behavior and the body issues.

Basically, I am going to reply with a big giant DITTO.

I admit. I judge. I’ve had v. minimal body issues and none at all now. So I can’t imagine what you’re feeling — but that’s MY perspective because I’ve never been there to count calories, etc.

I’m linking to this – this is a great rant against others like me.

I completely and utterly FEEL YOU.
Trying to lose weight and just generally get in shape has been a huge struggle for me, too. Hang in there and try to just stay healthy.. and know that you’re definitely not alone at all.

I know the feeling. I have a serious love/hate relationship with diet and exercise, but am pushing myself to find that happy medium. You can do it!

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