First off, let’s give a round of applause to my guest bloggers this week! Michelle, Kyla and Brandy, take a bow, you girls are lovely and saved my poor blog from a week of neglect!

It’s like negative 30 billion degrees out here in Chicago. Yesterday while walking to the office, my hair was freezing, face red and my glasses were icing over. Obviously, I walked into the office looking absolutely stunning. Oh and then a photographer from the New York Times came in to photograph us later. Oh during the shoot, I was sitting next to Lauren (she’s on our ad team and awesome!), who use to be a model.

Let’s break that down:

negative 30 billion degrees + red face  + sitting next to model + NYT photographer = me potentially look like a chubby hot mess in a future NYT article

I know you are itching to see if it prints and trust me, we should know soon.

Let’s just pretend it was a bad hair/face/body day and be done with it. Okay? My other option is finding every copy of the paper and taking a permanent marker to me if a photo has me in it. If I miss any, I expect you to do the same.

Can you tell I’m not a fan of photos?

Tyra will be disappointed in me.

Jamie = Smile With Your Eyes FAIL.

Why is America’s Next Top Model such a complete fail? Why do I continue to watch this? WHY? First, ChaCha, then Saliesha, then Whitney’s fake ass and now this??! So much fail in two years.

McKey.

The big ass mouth and talking out of the side of it thing? She is so bad! And Sam in the final two?! Are you kidding me?

Whatever, America’s Next Top Model looks like the Joker.

FAIL

Today on The Tyra Banks Show, she will be surprising Isis with a sexual reassignment surgery. Isis is from Cycle 11 and was the first transgendered contestant on America’s Next Top Model. The only reason she hasn’t be able to make the full transition is because the surgery costs $20,000-30,000.

Tyra will not be paying for the surgery but introduces her to Dr. Marci Bowers, a leading gender reassignment surgeon who has experienced the surgery herself. Bowers will be paying for the surgery.

But you know Tyra will totally take credit somehow.

Cycle 13 prediction: Tyra lecturing the models on how she performed a sex change surgery when she first started modeling at 15.

* But really, good for Isis. She’s been wanting this a long time.

(clip found here)

I missed the first 15 minutes of this weeks episode and turned on just in time to see little Hannah get pounced on for being racist. Like Mikey said in the comments, she just doesn’t realize what she is saying. The little bumpkin needs to realize this isn’t Alaska anymore and people are very different from what she is use to.

(gif from fourfour)

Then there was posing challenge with feet behind the heads and purses all up in the va-jay-jay. These girls need to open up a damn magazine and see how real models pose because seriously? Just..seriously??

Let’s get on to the photoshoot!

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The election talk gets me so riled up it’s not even funny. That’s the point though, right? Get mad and make a change. Don’t complain unless your actively doing something about it. If it’s gonna take a voting themed shoot on ANTM to get kids out there and pay attention to what’s going on…GREAT. Go Tyra.

Let’s skip the bullshit first hour and get right down to the photo shoot, shall we?

Guess who my favorite is?

Marjorie! She is a bundle of nervous energy and is this close to start bouncing off the walls from it but I adore her. I love her look and she photographs like a dream. She also dresses ridiculously cute. Be my BFF, Marjorie!

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Because I love you.

No, not you Tyra, even though you invented love when you started modeling at 15 and lived in a room with 8 other girls, one of which stole your alarm clock.

It’s that time again, bitches. Get ready!

(all gifs from fourfour, duh)

New readers probably don’t know this but last season I talked shit recapped it talked shit every Thursday. I also posted way more Tyra gifs than anyone needs to see.

Cycle 11 of America’s Next Top Model starts September 3. Get ready to smile with your eyes.

What’s the most said phrase in reality television?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w536Alnon24]

I love Rich over at fourfour.

Who won? Find out after the jump. Also, read some dirt I read on the winner!

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The final of America’s Next Top Model cycle 10 is tonight. I thought we’d celebrate the end of this awful cycle by doing a poll. Shall we, my ANTM lovers (or haters. I know how it is!)?

[polldaddy poll="611873"]

[polldaddy poll="611898"]