This is going to be a quick one before I go to bed.

Tyra decided to make an appearance this episode and teach the girls to express themselves through pain. Menstrual pain, you’ve been choked, forced to watch Tyra act like a freaking idiot for 10 cycles now — all the same thing. Whatever, Anya’s weird looking ass won the posing challenge. Her prize? A nude shoot with Nigel Barker.

*Sidenote: the amount of hits I get asking what Anya’s accent is, is pretty funny. For the record, she is from Hawaii, but is Russian.*

Anyway, for the photo shoot each girl was given a genre of music to portray. Here we go!

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Things we learned/confirmed in this episode:

- Dominique is a fucking idiot
- “plus size” girls CAN do the splits
- someone stole Lauren’s shoes
- Tyra is ridiculous

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This also could be titled: The One Where PETA Flips the Fuck Out.

Models are pieces of meat? I guess Tyra thinks a little too literally with this one. She had them literally wear meat. I am completely surprised no one started crying because they are vegetarian or vegan. It was pretty awful watching.

Before we get to that, the girls have walking lesson with Ms. Jay. A lot of these girls can’t walk. Off the top of my head, Amis, Fatima, Lauren stick out the most. Then we have our resident sexpot, Katarzyna. She won the walking challenge, but I think her walk is too bouncy. If only I had Paint on my MacBook, I’d be drawing all over this picture pointing out the firefighters’s expressions. You know their wives and girlfriends hate Tyra so much for this shit.

Also, every time the girls get a Tyra Mail, we all get a little dumber. We lose brain cells. What was wrong with one girl reading the note from Tyra from a piece of paper? Now we have ” da da da da da da da da LOOOOOVE TYRA!” in unison and super slow. (more…)

I’ve been all wrapped up with Project Runway’s finale this week, that I forgot to blog America’s Next Top Model. DS totally set me in me place and was basically like NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR PUPPY! WHERE IS ANTM?! Of course, she was much nicer about it though. So because I kind of love DS, I’m going to get right on it.

This week’s episode is basically one of the only episodes that matter. Yes, while Tyra’s antics keep us entertained all season, this is what we all wait for. And my by we, I mean…me. Well, this time Tyra decided she wasn’t going to tell them what she was doing before hand and just kind of made fun of them in a little box while they were getting their makeover.

First we have Anya. They bleached the hell out of Anya’s hair and now she has no eyebrows. She is kind of reminding me of one of the Malfoys now.

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I have a serious case of puppy brain. I know some of you are probably like, “if I have to read about that damn dog one more time, I kicking this bitch out of my google reader!”. I know, I know. I promise it won’t be puppy talk all day, every day. So I think I may have reached the height of my internet fame a few days ago. I left a comment on Dooce talking about what else? Puppies, of course. I mean seriously though, have you seen Coco? She’s probably the second cutest pup in the world, next to my own Edie. And that Chuck, he’s so refined. Edie flops around eating her food, occasionally standing in her bowl while eating. Seriously, I can’t get enough of the puppehs. Anyway, I got an insane amount of hits from that comment. INSANE. Well, insane for my little blog at least.

All I’m saying is:

If you blog pups..they will come.

It has just been proven.

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For those of you with no souls, that do not care about puppies, I’m changing the subject. I’m gonna talk more about crazy ass Tyra and ANTM this week since I didn’t write about it yesterday.

Tyra knows what it is like to be homeless because she was once…wait, no, because she once did a show about it. If that isn’t personal experience, I don’t know what is. Cameras following you and you’re face is made up to look dirty and homeless? Then go get chauffeured home to your ginormous mansion and sip mimosas while you wipe your ass with twenty dollar bills. Exactly the same thing, right? Yeah, so anyway.

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A brief recap here, I’m working on getting something extra super amazing awesome and hopefully it will all come through! Also, throwing in some thoughts on Top Model last night after the PR recap!

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Are you ready for Tyra to tell you to smile with your eyes? Are you ready for the Miss Jay, who has better legs than you? Are you ready for Tyra to tell you she’s done absolutely everything in the world before everyone else when she started modeling at 15 and lived in an apartment with 8 other models who stole her alarm clock?

ANTM starts tonight. I don’t think I’m ready after Dora the Explorer’s unfortunate win last cycle.

hahah this entry is totally obnoxious. I’m sorry.

I don’t know why I continue to watch this show. Tyra makes dumb as decisions and always picks the wrong girl. The only thing Tyra is good at is giving me reasons to post entries like this one. Anyway, Cycle 10 contestants have been released.

solo photos and information on these wannabes

What do you think? Any of these fierce bitches top model material?

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I’m on my dinner break. We are discussing germs, bacteria, viruses  and proper disinfecting procedures. Just the kind of stuff you want to learn about before eating! I could share some really interesting (i.e. gross) stuff with you guys, but I will refrain from doing so.

Last post for the day today. Check back tomorrow for my exciting news!

What will that crazy ass Tyra think of next? Oh, I know. How about some America’s Next Top Model dolls? Yeah, that sounds about right. Maybe she will also include a story about how she was once a doll when she started modeling! Or maybe tips on how to smile with your eyes!

Pick your poison. Paisely, Sienna or Sidney?

 Should you so choose to buy one of these fierce ass dolls, you can do so on ebay.

ANTM!

Who got cut first?

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