Picture this.

Nanny Jamie is playing with the almost one year old in the living room. 2 year old was in his room doing his business, he normally goes off and tells me when he is ready to change.

Then, it got quiet. Too quiet. I burst into his room.

What do I see?

A two year old with both legs in one of the leg holes on his Pull Up. Poopy diaper on the floor and a big brown spot where he plopped ass down on the cream carpet.

Later we see a disheveled nanny scrubbing the carpet with everything under the kitchen sick trying to get shit off the carpet.

That was only part of my day.

Yesterday was rough.

After a week of magic, fairy dust and no worries, I was back home. Back to reality.

Nannying is burning me out, the 12 hour days running around after kids who aren’t even mine. Don’t get me wrong, I love the kids to death. They are my babies, but I’ve been doing this long enough to know, how a kid acts with their parents and how they act with a sitter or nanny are on opposite ends of the behavior spectrum. The kids have more good days than not so good days. I really can’t complain, I get paid very well for what I do and I am practically part of the family. It’s just wearing me down.

I have money issues like no tomorrow. BlogHer is coming up, tuition, gas, and now vet bills. Turns out this dog my cousin gave me, doesn’t have any shots and must be neutered. All that is coming out of my pocket. I feel like I’m drowning and will never catch up.

My parents are officially divorced now, it happened last month. Unfortunately, they are both still living here so it’s like nothing has changed. House repairs, big and small, must be done before the house can be sold. I’m betting we will be stuck in this shitty situation until at the very least fall, I wouldn’t be surprised if we were here longer.

Meaningless little stuff that on a normal day wouldn’t bother me, yesterday had me absolutely reeling. I came home, the internet was being a bitch and it just pushed me over the edge. Everything bubbled up and over and I was done. Tears were officially flowing and I let it all out.

I sent boyfriend a text that I was going to bed at about 9:30 because I just needed the day to be over. He knows me too well and called. He talked and calmed me. He reminded me that yeah, things might suck now but I do have a lot to be happy for.

And I am.

Right then I was just feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. It finally all caught up with me and came out.

I’m happy I have someone to bring me back down and remind me of these things when needed.

I love him.

As you can see, I am smiling with my eyes…or just woke up. One of the two…or maybe both?

(it’s backwards because I took it on my MacBook and I didn’t flip it. I’m gonna be late for work!)

Will and I went shopping yesterday and I kept rambling how Sex and The City was on sale for $109 at Best Buy and would compare it to how much it was in all the other stores. Right when we were about to head back home, he told me to go to Best Buy and he bought it for me!

I think I’ll keep him.