Hello everyone.

I’m Chris and I write at my site surviving myself, but because Jamie thinks I am quite lovely too, she invited me to guest post here today while she’s at Disney World.

I have to admit, I’m not really that happy with that introduction. I am writing for a whole new set of readers and the above paragraph is what I come up with?

Terrible.

I bet Jamie is shaking her head right now and saying, “I knew I shouldn’t have asked Chris to do this!”

And I bet Mickey is agreeing with her.

But that doesn’t surprise me because Mickey and I - well, we had a bit of a falling out. And no, I’d rather not talk about that right now. Okay, fine, Mickey stole a woman I was in love with and for years every time I saw anything remotely Disney related I flew into a murderous rage.

But I’m fine with it now because I hear she got fat.

So let me start over.

I’m Chris and I have the privilege of posting here today.

See, I don’t even like that one. In fact, I don’t even really like my name.

Chris.

It’s so damn boring, isn’t it?

When I was young I used to want to change my name to Sebastian.

Sebastian!

How bad is that???

How I ever thought Sebastian was a good name for anyone other than someone who appears on the cover of romance novels with flowing hair and maybe guys who write Dark Poems About Serious Things is beyond me.

But I did. I hated my name.

I think everyone does at some point.

At some time in all of our lives we think to ourselves, “My parents are such morons! I should change my name and then they’ll understand who I really am!”

But usually that rebellious cry is followed by us sitting down and watching Mr. Belvedere and forgetting the whole stupid thing.

So unfortunately I’m stuck with the name Chris and not Something Awesome like “Danger Man” and unfortunately you just read this entire post about nothing.

Life is unkind.

Hello readers! Let me begin by telling you that I’m not Jamie. I’m not stylish, nor do I have cute Etsy works adorning my home. I don’t know anything about America’s Next Top Model, or Project Runway. I don’t have a blog so pretty I swoon when I see it, I don’t have a cute new hair do complete with perfect bangs and lastly- I don’t have a boyfriend.

I’m Brandy, I write at “It’s like, I’m…mmmagic“.

I bring up the singleness because it’s one more thing that Jamie and I don’t have in common. Yet, Jamie falls into a group of coupled people that I adore. The kind that manages to have a boyfriend, yet isn’t consumed by them. She mentions him, but never have I once read her blog feeling as though my life is less because I’m single. And that? Is something this single girl can appreciate.

Maybe it’s the season- summer brings out couples in full force- I find myself struggling to navigate sidewalks, determined couples refusing to let go of each others hand being my biggest obstacle. Or maybe it’s my recent movie viewing- watching Sex and the City (however much I disliked the movie), maybe me swooning for a Big of my own. Or maybe it’s my musical taste (”Paperweight” by Schulyer Fisk makes the idea of sleeping alone sound about as fun as chewing on tinfoil). Or maybe it’s all of these things. Or none of them. I just know that lately, I’ve found myself feeling like the world is divided into three camps- singles, couples who I adore (and Jamie falls into this group) and couples I want to bash over the head with my new wedge heels I bought while ignoring all those couples who dress alike on the weekends.

I’m not sure why the dressing identical bothers me (maybe it was the matching visors? Or maybe it was the fact that they wore visors in a clothing store to begin with?), but it does. So, to combat my rage, I thought I would make a list to share…..

5 Things I Want All Girls In a Relationship To Know

1. Jen and Brad would dress to compliment each other. Tony Parker and Eva do the same. Ditto Will and Jada. I’m all about dressing to COMPLIMENT the other person, but when I walk into a store and see you wearing the EXACT same Nike shirt, the EXACT same yoga pants (and sir, those pants were two sizes too small. And not in the good way, for shame!), the EXACT same visor (we already know what I think of wearing a visor inside) and the EXACT same shoes- it’s weird. And not “cool-we-are-so-cutting-edge

I’m guest blogging over at Jenna’s while she is away on business in New York. I’m talking about New York and what I would do when I go there. I’ve never been, so it was pretty fun thinking of stuff I would like to do.

Feel free to tell me how much of a tourist I am, New Yorkers! Or tell me how awesome my ideas are and what you would do, if there. Or just go say hi! Or just tell Jenna what a super cute design she has. Or tell me to stop starting sentences with “or”.

Splendid Really!

It’s St. Patricks Day or something? It seems like Chicago has been celebrating it for the past two weeks so whatever!

I’m actually directing you elsewhere today, freaders. I would hope you go check them out too.

1. I’m talking books over at Lacey’s place, Perks of Being a JAP, while she is in Israel. Have a favorite book? Want to see mine? Go check out my post here.

2. Since practically no one reads or updates on the weekends, you probably missed reading about my awesome blogger meet up! Check out who I hung out with Saturday afternoon or go see her take on the day.

What are you waiting for? Go read!

I’m the guest blogger extraordinaire today in the Reneeborhood. There may or may not be talk of the Titanic and street gangs.

You’d have to go check it out to know for sure.

A Beautiful Day in the Reneeborhood

ETA:

Things Edie Did Today
1. have an accident on my bed
2. fall asleep in my clothing hamper
3. nipped my hands to hell
4. laid on top of Princess while she was sleeping
5. fall asleep with her ears in her water bowl

Someone left me the keys of their blog today. I’m guest posting for Jenn.

Free and Flawed

Make my first guest post a success and say hi! Also, If you don’t read Jenn yet, what the hell are you waiting for?!

ETA:

Since today is March 1st and I’m doing NaBloPoMo monthly, I need a list.

Places I wrote today:
1. Jenn’s place
2. Here, if this even counts

Yes, that’s right, kittens! The day is here for the super, fabulous Unpredictable contest that I mentioned on Monday! All you have to do is answer the question at the end of Eileen Cook’s guest post here. That’s it! Seriously, not too hard. The winner will be announced Friday. What does the winner get, you ask? Well, first off, Miss Eileen Cook will be sending a copy of her brand new novel to you and to sweeten the deal, I’ll throw in a $5 Starbucks gift card. This way you can read your new book and drink that mocha frou frou stuff you like. Or if you are like me, some hot chocolate, because I hate coffee! Depending on how many people enter the contest, I might throw in another Starbucks gift card. MAYBE. Consider it my Valentine’s Day gift to you. So spread the word!

Let’s see what Eileen has to say.

———

What we do for love
(subtitled I must have been on drugs)

There is a theory that being in love releases a chemical reaction in the brain. This chemical reaction is the only explanation I can come up with for some of the things I’ve done in pursuit of love. Clearly, I wasn’t in my right mind.

Humiliating myself in the pursuit of love came easily to me starting at a very early age. In junior high my girlfriends and I would call the object of our affection and when he would pick up the phone we would give a super sonic giggle (capable of being heard only by dogs) and then hang up. Looking back on this- the purpose of the call eludes me. We didn’t give our name so the point must not have been to let him know we liked him. We never actually spoke to the guy in question so getting to know him also wasn’t a goal. The best I can determine is that the purpose of the call was to establish that he was in fact home. How this brought us closer to our beloved is unclear.

Then there were the stalking years. One guy that I liked worked in the mall. Along with a posse of my friends we would walk s-l-o-w-l-y by the front of the store dressed in our very best. We would then wait about .05 seconds and then repeat the slow walk going in the other direction. This would then repeat over and over sometimes lasting for hours. In today’s high security society no doubt I would have been arrested as a suspected retail terrorist- but those were simpler times.

By University my ability to go all out in the pursuit of love would lead me to signing up for a course on Ancient Chinese History simply so I could sit next to a guy I liked. I endured an entire semester of trying to memorize names that all rhymed. Was that Emperor Chin? No Lin. There were hours long road trips to show up (all casual like) at a party and one instance were I swore I LOVED downhill skiing (despite never having gone before) and then nearly killed myself in an effort to look like we had a shared interest.

A friend recently told me a great story. She had the intern where she works call the object of her affection and gave him a fake survey so she could learn all about him. On a scale of 1-5 how important are looks to you in choosing mate? It’s a shame I’m married now- because I thought this was a brilliant plan.

So why do we do it? Why do something insane for love? Because sometimes it works. After all- I married the Ancient Chinese History guy.

What have you done in the name of love?

Contest over! Thanks everyone! Winner will be announced shortly!