I’ve played softball since forever. When I was probably 7 or 8, all my friends on my block played Tball. I was horribly jealous. Finally one summer my mom signed me up. I was thrilled! I remember I made a sign out of a piece of paper and wrote the name of my new team and proudly displayed it in the front window of my house. I was a T-Rose. Me. Now everyone could see. My friends on the block were on the T-iaras and the T-Spoons. Cute, huh? I spent one or two years playing Tball until I finally moved up into the Junior league.

In the Junior League, I was a Dove. Our colors were maroon and gold, how that was dove-ish, I don’t know. And for some reason, all the junior league was named after birds. Anyway, I was shuffled around from short stop and second base, occasionally third base because I had a good arm. Then one day my coach decided to try people out for pitcher. I had found my calling and I was good. I was really good. The coach’s daughter was also a pitcher. We were a good team but if for some reason I pitched a game and we lost, it was always my fault. He would berate me, make me cry, tell everyone we lost the game because of me. Yeah, it was pretty awful. My mother and him got into it a few times because he was such an asshole. He pushed me and pushed me and even when I cried, it just made me stronger. I was only in grade school, but he had me work out with the local high school’s team. As a result, I became fiercely competitive.

Finally growing out of the park district, I stopped for awhile. I always picked up my glove to throw the ball around but it wasn’t the same.  Even though it had been a few years, freshman year I decided I was going to try out for the high school team. I impressed varsity, who wanted me, but they already had 3 pitchers so it wasn’t likely I’d get any play time and the JV coach fought for me to be on his team. Whatever, as long as I got to play at all, I was happy.

The thing about public schools, well mine at least, was they took more of a lackadaisical approach to the game. It was just for fun for everyone. Not for me though. It was fun but I wanted to win. I needed that W. I started seeing a pitching coach three times a week outside of school, along with regular practice. I worked up speed, accuracy and had mastered quite a few different pitches. I trained my catchers. I ran the team more than the coach did. I never listened to him when he tried to tell me what to do. He didn’t know anything. I was this team. This was my team, they listened to me before him. No one could talk to me when I was on the mound because I was so zoned in on what I was doing. I was stubborn, bossy and hot headed. No one ever questioned me or tried to set me in my place either. I took competitive to a new level.

I remember one day we played the local Catholic school. Who was on the team? Asshole coach and his daughter. I swear if looks could kill, we both would have been dead and buried - one at the mound and one at the plate. It went on like this all game. We tried to one up each other every time the other was at bat. I paced the dugout. No one understood why this game meant so much to me. They were there to just have fun and I wanted to pull my hair out. I did my best, but one person can’t hold up a team on their own. We ended up losing, but not without a fight - at least on my part. It was one of the best games I ever played.

Junior year, I hurt the tendons in my shoulder really bad. I haven’t been the same since then, even with physical therapy. Needless to say, this brought my softball game to a screeching halt. Stopped scholarships. Stopped travel teams. Stopped it all. If only I hadn’t pushed myself so hard…

Every year, once spring rolls around I pull out my glove. It doesn’t get as much use anymore. There is a boys’ ball field a few blocks down from me and I always hear the clink of the ball on the bat from my window.

It takes me back, back to when I was on top. Back to the only time I really felt like I was good at something. Really good.

I’ve been pretty much maintaining the same weight, give or take a few pounds, since December when I went to Vegas. While the number was far from ideal, I wasn’t really mad at it. I don’t like it and still think it is too high, but it could have been worse. The past two weeks, I have really been indulging myself and telling myself it was okay because my birthday was coming up. Today I got on the scale and saw a number I was definitely not okay with, only a few pounds up but still, not good.

Starting today, I’m now back in lose weight mode. I have a trip to Florida in June and I would like to look acceptable in a swimsuit. So I’m back to watching my intake, daily weigh ins and elliptical every day I can fit it in. Also, now that the weather is actually starting to feel like spring and getting warmer, Edie and I will be taking a long walk once a day. I’m cutting out pop (soda, for your weird people!) completely and drinking tons of water. More protein, less carbs. All the little things like that will make a big difference.

So time to get in to shape. No bullshit. No excuses. Let’s do this - the right way.

…but I don’t care because it is my birthday!!!

Honestly, I’m not really ever too psyched on birthdays. I really don’t want to get older. Really though, this year so far has been a pretty big bummer with all that is going on, but I’m determined to make today a new start. I have lots of incredibly awesome things planned for the rest of the year, so this is kind of the start of it all.

I’m super excited about all that is in store for my three day birthday extravaganza!

Today
First off, today I have to stop by the travel agency to confirm the fabulous trip Jenn and I are going on in July. San Francisco and BlogHer, watch out! Maybe grab lunch or dinner with the boyfriend. I’m kind of feeling like some pasta! Leona’s? YES. Oh and maybe go buy Enchanted! Wrap it all up at boyfriend’s for some cake. Then tv catch up and cuddles with boyfriend.

Friday
21 comes out tomorrow so William and I are going to see that. Vegas! A movie is the closest I will get to Vegas until October, but that is okay. Then get myself all dolled up for a night on the town with friends in my little black dress that went unused in Vegas because I was sick. We got a table and bottle service at my most favorite night time spot in Chicago and a bunch of friends will come out. Hopefully. They better or I will punch them. In the eye. If you are in Chicago and want to come out, I might just tell you where, only if you have a cupcake in hand when you greet me! haha. I also won’t punch you in the eye.

Saturday
First, Edie and I will have puppy class at 11, which will definitely be hard to get to after Friday night. But we will persevere! Then an adventure with Jenn, since our first adventure went smashingly. This time a movie and mini food. Another day of fierceness all around.

And of course, even though it was a few weeks early, my favorite birthday present (to myself) was my little Corgi fluffy pup, Edie. She brightens every day for me and was the best thing I have ever got for myself.

Thank you all for the birthday wishes so far. You all are fabulous and I love you to pieces!

Turning 24 21 doesn’t seem so bad today ;)

If you ever had a conversation with me, in person or even in IM, you know there are words I say ALL THE TIME. Hell, even in this blog here when I write.

- seriously
- obviously
- ridiculous
- awesome
- fabulous
- pupperoo (shut up, that is what I call my puppy)
- I know, right? (usually sounds like iknowright)
- dude (how can I forget that one!?)

Other puppy nicknames include:
- pup
- fluff
- Edie butt
- mamas
- my angel

I know there are tons more but for some reason I can’t think of them off the top of my head. I’ll edit this as they come to me!

Words or phrases you say all the time.

Go.

I hate beer. I have never liked it. Yes, I am one of those girls. Well, maybe I would drink beer that tastes like magic because, really, who wouldn’t? To me, magic is Disney World. Beer that can give me Disney World AND strawberries all in one sip sounds freaking amazing in my book!

Anyway, you know those people who are like “It’s Friday!! Let’s go out and get WASTED!!!@!#!”?

Yeah, I’m most definitely not one of them. I’ve never have been. Okay, I lied. Maybe a few times when I was 19 and living in the dorms at DePaul, but that’s really it. I’m totally over that and think it’s kind of lame now. Now when I go out, I rarely drink, mainly because I always drive and I’m super paranoid. Occasionally, I will have a drink or two. I can guarantee you though, you will never find me drunk. My boyfriend’s been dating me for four years and I don’t think he has even seen me drunk, maybe slightly buzzed but that’s it.

When I go out, I stick with the standard vodka and cranberry or like, a gin and tonic.

You’re all like, “Damn, Jamie, could you be any more boring and predictable?”.

Now, I plead my case. I don’t know what else to get! Seriously, I don’t like going up to the bar and looking like an idiot trying to decide what to drink. I don’t know the names of pretty, frou frou looking cocktails.

How stupid would I sound saying, “Yes, can I have the pretty looking drink in the funny shaped glass, please?”

So my birthday is next week and I’m going out to celebrate. Help me not look like an idiot when I go up to the bar.

What are your favorite drinks?

Yummy tasting, please! I don’t do beer or shots.

Those are my beautiful Valentine’s Day flowers from William. They are like a purple-pink color and need more water. They smelled wonderful yesterday and I’m sure they do today do, I couldn’t tell you though for sure, because I can’t breathe. My friend stole that bottle of wine from someone’s house a long time ago and it’s been sitting there ever since. The edges of my bulletin board are covered in tickets, tickets from baseball games, movies and when I go see bands. There is a ton of them, they go back to like 2002, probably even before. Baby picture, photo booth pictures from the Empty Bottle, Kurt Halsey postcards, House of Gucci and my Blackberry.

A sneak peak (visually) into the life of Jamie.

I’ve never been one of those people who know exactly what they want to do when they get to college. I know a lot of people don’t know, but somehow they always find their way. I will be 24 years old next month. I’m completely lost when it comes to school and career. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to just pick something and stick to it. It’s kind of ridiculous really. I know a lot of people don’t graduate with their degree straight out of high school, but it really bothers me that I am 24 and still no degree. I should have a real job. I shouldn’t be living at home. I say time and time again I am going to get my shit together and figure out what I’m doing with my life but I just end up more confused. Yeah, I’m great with kids, I could be a teacher. I know I’d be good at it, but is it really what I want to do forever? I suppose I can just get a degree in English and something would pop up. Should I do PR? Should I jump in completely with nursing? Should I scrap all that completely and try something in business? I have no idea what I’m doing and it’s making me crazy. I feel like a complete fuck up when people ask me where I am working now and all I can say is I’m still in school and not too sure what I’m doing. If there was a major for changing majors every three seconds, I’d be done and over with school forever ago. I’m chronically indecisive.

My parents and those close to me don’t push to doing anything I don’t want to do. I know they have to wonder, even if they don’t want to admit it, what the hell is this girl doing? Why is she wasting all our money on tuition? I wish I could tell them. I wish I could tell myself. I wish I had the passion for learning something that I just know this is exactly what I should be doing with my life. Is there some moment where everything just clicks together? Where everything makes sense and just comes together? That everything just falls in to place? Where the light bulb flickers on over my head?

Maybe that moment just skipped me by all together.

I just wish I knew.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s take me 500 years to do these. Next batch will be up tomorrow most likely! You can find part 1 here.
Lacey: Umm. If you could go back to any one moment in time, when would it be, and why?
I can’t really think of any time in my life that I would want to go back to right now. I will say though, that I wish I would have went to the Marc by Marc Jacobs store opening a few weeks ago, because I recently found out he was there. Seriously, it would have been cool to meet Marc Jacobs.

Tiff: What’s your favorite quality about your BF?
Oh gosh, he’s going to hate me because I’m going to start gushing. I really can’t pick just one. He’s incredibly understanding and so patient. I don’t know how he puts up with me sometimes! He’s also amazingly talented and creative musically. I love him.
Why aren’t we friends in real life?
There is a ridiculous 239 miles keeping us apart :(
How did Christian become such an annoying witch?
I think he is doing it on purpose to make me insane. I swear if this bitch wins Project Runway, I will never watch it again.
What vacations do you have planned for this year?
I recently found out I will probably going to Florida in June for the third year in a row. I’m super excited because, who doesn’t love Mickey Mouse? I love Disney World. It took me 21 years to get there and I love it more than anywhere else! I really hope to go to Las Vegas again. Really really hope! Also, one of my resolutions this year was to go somewhere I never been before. I’m thinking CA or NY. We’ll see!
What’s one thing you love about me? hahaha just kidding you don’t have to answer that one.
I’m pretty sure I’m going to anyway! You have great music taste (duh) and have an impeccable eye for pretty things (duh, again) and you love baseball! Blog crush 4ever.

Brandy: Favourite Project Runway contestant ever?
Design-wise? I love Jay McCarol from season 1. All around-wise? Santino because he is fucking hilarious.
Celebrity who has the closet you would most like to raid?
Kate Moss. Can you imagine all the stuff that girl has in her closet? Designers love that bitch! I also know she has my Lanvin boots which I need in my life so..hi Kate, if you read my blog, can I come borrow clothes after I lose like 30000 pounds?
Best type of pie?
I’m really not a fan of pie. I don’t like it. I’m weird, I know!

Chickbug: what are you going to do with your $600 tax rebate?
Nothing :( I don’t file taxes. I get paid off the books as a nanny. Shh!

I had to bump that last post down. It was so blah, so here are a few answers to some of the questions on this post!

Miriam: Predictions for this year’s top designer? Final 3 or 4? Since they can’t seem to make the decision on who to kick off when it’s down to 4 so they just keep one on!

Okay, they better not pull that top 4 shit again. That was ridiculous! My bet is on Jillian, Rami and Christian. I’d rather see Jillian, Sweet P and Rami. I don’t like Rami because all of his stuff looks the same, but I would rather die than see Christian go to Bryant Park and pull out 13 cropped, high necked coats and act like he is God’s gift to fashion.

KMG: Favorite books, movies, restaurants?

I’d have to go with Geek Love and Harry Potter series for books. Movies are Some Like It Hot and Almost Famous. Restaurant would be this little taco place by my house on the south side, San Francisco something or other. All I know it is so freaking good!

Jess: I’m on a beauty product kick at the moment, so… what are the beauty products that you use every day and/or can’t live without?

Oh gosh. Okay, either Philosopy’s Purity Made Simple or Microdelivery Exfoliating Wash, followed up with Hope in Jar. I swear by them. I could not live without my Jonathan Product Smooth No Frizz Hydrating Balm and rosebud salve though!

Katelin: If someone paid you $500 would you streak in a public place?

If no one I knew was there, probably! Or if I had a body like Giselle, I wouldn’t care if people I knew were there, haha. Dude, $500 is almost half of the Miu Miu bag I want!

Vanessa: What’s your favorite city to live in?

I’ve never lived anywhere other than Chicago. If I could move, I’m thinking somewhere warm. I’m so sick of Chicago winters!

Starting Over at 24: Is that flowing red hair I see in your pic? Is that 100% nat-ur-al??

Ah, yes, my icon thingy. Unfortunately, that is not me. It’s from a fashion editorial shot by Max Farago for Vogue Paris. Gorgeous photos.

Part two to come very soon. I didn’t want to make a gigantic post, so I broke them up!

I thought I lost my wallet.

I got a few lovely emails from bloggy friends.  You guys are amazing.

I did 5 million math problems.

I still don’t really get the difference between rational and irrational numbers. I kind of don’t care anymore.

I got an awesome news by email! I don’t think I’m allowed to tell yet, but I will soon enough.

I sat through the most boring Psych class ever.

I found my wallet.

I will be in class for 6 1/2 hours later.

I will miss Project Runway and not be able to catch a rerun until this weekend.

I will get to meet my boyfriend for a late bite to eat once I get out of class.

Your turn. “Today I…”