After that awful waste of time recap episode last week, we are back! This week Paulina comes to have a heart to heart with the girls about personality and being interviewed and blah blah. Their challenge was to shine on the red carpet and at a 7UP event. Does anyone drink 7UP, unless it is being mixed in something or if their tummy hurts? Seriously.

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“You are so lucky.”

It seems my girl, Lauren, has a bit of a temper. I think Fatima is awful and all, but I don’t think she deserved to be on the receiving end of all that! Also, the Tyra mail? I think Lauren is just as fed up with the screaming and running and say…ing…each…word…real…ly…slow..ly as the rest of us. I have said it before and someone always mentions it in the comments, HOW FREAKING ANNOYING IS THAT?! That shit better not be around next cycle because I have already had it with this show and don’t know how much more I can take!

This weeks challenge is go sees. This time they break them up in to teams to do it. Of course, Lauren can’t walk. Whitney is too plus sized. Blah-di-blah-di-blah. Stacy Ann, Claire, Dominique and Whitney’s team win. Their prize? A summer beauty shoot in Seventeen magazine. Dominique proceeds to babble about how she was 5 and always wanted to be in Seventeen or some nonsense. Too bad the bitch looks about 50, so the whole 17 thing? I don’t think so.

The photo shoot is some weird plasticy floor sheet with water on it and they have be fluid and move gracefully while being shot from below. On to the photos.

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This is going to be a quick one before I go to bed.

Tyra decided to make an appearance this episode and teach the girls to express themselves through pain. Menstrual pain, you’ve been choked, forced to watch Tyra act like a freaking idiot for 10 cycles now — all the same thing. Whatever, Anya’s weird looking ass won the posing challenge. Her prize? A nude shoot with Nigel Barker.

*Sidenote: the amount of hits I get asking what Anya’s accent is, is pretty funny. For the record, she is from Hawaii, but is Russian.*

Anyway, for the photo shoot each girl was given a genre of music to portray. Here we go!

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Things we learned/confirmed in this episode:

- Dominique is a fucking idiot
- “plus size” girls CAN do the splits
- someone stole Lauren’s shoes
- Tyra is ridiculous

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No, not make me a supermodel.

Make Me a Supermodel on Bravo. Do you watch it? I do and I have a little beef with America.

America, you fail. How are you going to vote this beautiful boy off? He’s gorgeous! Casey, I love you. (more…)

This also could be titled: The One Where PETA Flips the Fuck Out.

Models are pieces of meat? I guess Tyra thinks a little too literally with this one. She had them literally wear meat. I am completely surprised no one started crying because they are vegetarian or vegan. It was pretty awful watching.

Before we get to that, the girls have walking lesson with Ms. Jay. A lot of these girls can’t walk. Off the top of my head, Amis, Fatima, Lauren stick out the most. Then we have our resident sexpot, Katarzyna. She won the walking challenge, but I think her walk is too bouncy. If only I had Paint on my MacBook, I’d be drawing all over this picture pointing out the firefighters’s expressions. You know their wives and girlfriends hate Tyra so much for this shit.

Also, every time the girls get a Tyra Mail, we all get a little dumber. We lose brain cells. What was wrong with one girl reading the note from Tyra from a piece of paper? Now we have ” da da da da da da da da LOOOOOVE TYRA!” in unison and super slow. (more…)

I’ve been all wrapped up with Project Runway’s finale this week, that I forgot to blog America’s Next Top Model. DS totally set me in me place and was basically like NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR PUPPY! WHERE IS ANTM?! Of course, she was much nicer about it though. So because I kind of love DS, I’m going to get right on it.

This week’s episode is basically one of the only episodes that matter. Yes, while Tyra’s antics keep us entertained all season, this is what we all wait for. And my by we, I mean…me. Well, this time Tyra decided she wasn’t going to tell them what she was doing before hand and just kind of made fun of them in a little box while they were getting their makeover.

First we have Anya. They bleached the hell out of Anya’s hair and now she has no eyebrows. She is kind of reminding me of one of the Malfoys now.

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Spoilers, of course.

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Last night I fell asleep before 10PM with my laptop on my bed, mid-word on iChat about Uno the dog. Yeah, that’s right. Uno. Passed out cold. I was exhausted. Luckily, pup was good and pretty much slept the whole night.

Today is the day, lovelies! Who do you think it’s going to be?

Miss PuffPleatRuffleRepeat

Boring McDrapey

or

Fabulous Amazing sometimestakesalongtimedostuffbutIdon’tcare Perfect Jillian

Who are you pulling for?

I have a serious case of puppy brain. I know some of you are probably like, “if I have to read about that damn dog one more time, I kicking this bitch out of my google reader!”. I know, I know. I promise it won’t be puppy talk all day, every day. So I think I may have reached the height of my internet fame a few days ago. I left a comment on Dooce talking about what else? Puppies, of course. I mean seriously though, have you seen Coco? She’s probably the second cutest pup in the world, next to my own Edie. And that Chuck, he’s so refined. Edie flops around eating her food, occasionally standing in her bowl while eating. Seriously, I can’t get enough of the puppehs. Anyway, I got an insane amount of hits from that comment. INSANE. Well, insane for my little blog at least.

All I’m saying is:

If you blog pups..they will come.

It has just been proven.

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For those of you with no souls, that do not care about puppies, I’m changing the subject. I’m gonna talk more about crazy ass Tyra and ANTM this week since I didn’t write about it yesterday.

Tyra knows what it is like to be homeless because she was once…wait, no, because she once did a show about it. If that isn’t personal experience, I don’t know what is. Cameras following you and you’re face is made up to look dirty and homeless? Then go get chauffeured home to your ginormous mansion and sip mimosas while you wipe your ass with twenty dollar bills. Exactly the same thing, right? Yeah, so anyway.

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